held.press · grief · how to use these cards

How to use the HELD Grief deck

Three ways: alone, in a small circle, or a full room. There is no wrong way to do this.

Solo — sit with a card

  1. Draw. Cut the deck anywhere — or look through it and choose the card you need today.
  2. Read the front line. Twice. Slower the second time.
  3. Turn it over. Read the back the way you would want to be read to.
  4. If you want a voice with you, scan the card’s code — Kelly is synthetic, and she reads only if you press play.
  5. Sit for one slow breath. Keep the card with you today, or put it back.

There is no wrong way to do this. One card is enough.

Together — for 2 to 8

Sit where everyone can see the deck. Set the care card face-up beside it.

  • One person draws, then passes the card left. Whoever receives it reads — front, then back, slowly.
  • The circle goes left from the reader. Speak to the card, not about each other. The reader speaks last.
  • “Pass” is a full sentence. No one owes the circle their story. No fixing. No advice unless someone asks.
  • Want Kelly’s voice? One phone, on speaker, face-up by the card — before the circle opens or after it closes. Never during someone’s turn.

Close by leaving the card out until morning.

Ten or more people? The room shows you how.

Room — 10 to 30 · one card, one day

Twenty-eight minutes, no devices required. Before class the teacher pulls the same card from every deck — one per group of two or three — so every group physically holds the day. 52 cards is roughly a school term.

  1. Hook · 2 min — read the front line aloud, twice. “What word stays with you?”
  2. Story · 5 min — read the back exactly as written. Kelly is opt-in, press-play, only if the room agrees.
  3. Wonder · 8 min — two questions, then wait longer than is comfortable.
  4. Action · 8 min — each group does one small thing.
  5. Wisdom · 5 min — a circle: one sentence or “pass,” the front line one last time, and the room returns the card to the deck together.

Pass protects sharing, never safety. Never promise secrecy. If a student’s words worry you, follow your school’s safeguarding process today.

Before your first session, write your local emergency number and a local helpline into your printed guide. The US numbers on HELD cards — 911, 988, HOME to 741741, the Trevor Project — apply only in the United States; findahelpline.com works everywhere.

Free facilitator guide — the whole day runs from paper: teach.pdf · US Letter · teach.pdf · A4

← the Grief deck — all 52 cards  ·  guides for every deck